Donor Egg, Good Things
Victoria Nino
The Inspiration Behind My Donor Conception ...

“Our Hearts Match” is a story of a T-Rex Mama and her beloved little brontosaurus, who talk very openly about their physical differences and confidently celebrate what makes them each unique, while also leaning in on what makes them “match” on the inside - their hearts.

I believe this book can not only help children learn about what connects us as family, but also help parents process the hard feelings around genetic grief and shift their perspectives to a more beautiful lens. This mother/child duo is proof that we don’t have to match each other to have dino-mite love and connection.

The Inspiration Behind My Donor Conception Children's Book
Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
Privacy vs. Secrecy: Navigating Egg Donation ...

The journey of conceiving a child via egg donation is a deeply personal process. We all enter this process with unique pieces of ourselves. Whether it be our family belief systems, personality types, religious backgrounds or cultural beliefs, no two people enter this process the same.

Privacy vs. Secrecy: Navigating Egg Donation and Who Needs to Know
Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
How To Choose An Egg Donor

Whether this is your first time considering egg donation or you’ve always known you would need an egg donor to build your family, choosing an egg donor is not an easy process. I’ve personally been through the egg donation selection process multiple times now, with multiple different agencies and egg banks. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you.

How To Choose An Egg Donor
Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?

This is such an overwhelming decision to have to make and there are so many different schools of thought on whether it’s better to use fresh or frozen donor eggs. It’s easy to feel confused on which direction to take. This is truly a personal decision and heavily based on your situation and the plans you have for your future family. I’m not a doctor or expert by any means, but I have definitely been faced with this decision multiple times in my life and feel the need to share my personal reflection.

Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?
Donor Egg, Support Network
Victoria Nino
New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

This program series is very near and dear to my heart and I am very proud of the curriculum we have built. My goal is to help empower, educate and support people at all phases of the donor conception process. Whether you are going through donor conception for the first time, or on the other side of it as a parent of a donor conceived child. I’ve been having some very meaningful conversations with some Donor Conceived Adults that have helped me shape this program, two of which will be speaking in the series.

New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

Donor Egg

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The Inspiration Behind My Donor Conception Children's Book

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The Inspiration Behind My Donor Conception Children's Book

“Our Hearts Match” is a story of a T-Rex Mama and her beloved little brontosaurus, who talk very openly about their physical differences and confidently celebrate what makes them each unique, while also leaning in on what makes them “match” on the inside - their hearts.

I believe this book can not only help children learn about what connects us as family, but also help parents process the hard feelings around genetic grief and shift their perspectives to a more beautiful lens. This mother/child duo is proof that we don’t have to match each other to have dino-mite love and connection.

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12 Things I Get to Have, Thanks to Donor Eggs

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12 Things I Get to Have, Thanks to Donor Eggs

I can’t tell you how long I used to focus on the things I didn’t get to have by pursuing donor eggs to conceive. From the moment my doctor suggested we think about it, my mind was all-consumed every second of every day with all the things I was losing - a DNA connection with my babies, an easy route to pregnancy, an easy story to tell, time, energy, a shit ton of money, etc. 

How To Choose An Egg Donor

How To Choose An Egg Donor

Whether this is your first time considering egg donation or you’ve always known you would need an egg donor to build your family, choosing an egg donor is not an easy process. I’ve personally been through the egg donation selection process multiple times now, with multiple different agencies and egg banks. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you.

Should I Use Donor Eggs? Will I Have Regrets?

Should I Use Donor Eggs? Will I Have Regrets?

I remember the exact moment I was first faced with the question, “should I use donor eggs?” After multiple attempts at stimulating my follicles with hormones, and only ever getting one or two eggs to mature, my doctor sat me and my husband down for a serious conversation. She suggested we consider using donor eggs. I knew this wasn’t a decision I could make on the spot and definitely didn’t want to make a decision I would later regret.

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Becoming A Mother After Infertility

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Becoming A Mother After Infertility

My journey to become a mother is never lost on me. There hasn’t been a day since becoming a mom that I don’t think about what it took to get here. I suppose that’s a silver lining - to feel perpetually humble and grateful for the excruciating pain and test of time I had to experience to achieve my title as mother.

Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?

Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?

This is such an overwhelming decision to have to make and there are so many different schools of thought on whether it’s better to use fresh or frozen donor eggs. It’s easy to feel confused on which direction to take. This is truly a personal decision and heavily based on your situation and the plans you have for your future family. I’m not a doctor or expert by any means, but I have definitely been faced with this decision multiple times in my life and feel the need to share my personal reflection.

,

New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

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New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

This program series is very near and dear to my heart and I am very proud of the curriculum we have built. My goal is to help empower, educate and support people at all phases of the donor conception process. Whether you are going through donor conception for the first time, or on the other side of it as a parent of a donor conceived child. I’ve been having some very meaningful conversations with some Donor Conceived Adults that have helped me shape this program, two of which will be speaking in the series.

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I decided to write my very own, donor egg guide Book

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I decided to write my very own, donor egg guide Book

I decided to write a book about donor eggs! Fifty four pages of my heart and soul, dedicated to the one who inspired me to write it - my magical little girl, Florence, on her 2nd Birthday. It’s titled “Why I’m Glad my Eggs Didn’t Work” because that’s the best way to sum up my feelings about this journey. I’m grateful, I’m glad, I’m elated that my eggs didn’t work.

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Will I Be Able To Love My Donor Egg Child Like My Own?

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Will I Be Able To Love My Donor Egg Child Like My Own?

Did I picture having a baby with another woman’s DNA? No, of course not. Did I picture loving a child that looks nothing like me, so unconditionally it hurts? Not a chance. We all have this perfect image of the life we will live, but that doesn’t mean it’s the way it should be. Or that’s what’s best for us.

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Genetic Testing: To Test or Not To Test.

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Genetic Testing: To Test or Not To Test.

If going the IVF route, you are likely faced with this dilemma- to test your embryos or not to test? Genetic Testing (otherwise known as PGS, preimplantation genetic screening), is when one or more cells is removed from an IVF embryo to test for chromosomal normalcy.The genetically normal embryos are kept for transfer, and the abnormal embryos are discarded. 

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Infertility Confession: I Am Not A Normal Pregnant Woman.

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Infertility Confession: I Am Not A Normal Pregnant Woman.

Now that I'm pregnant, people are starting to treat me like any, normal, "fertile" pregnant woman. Most would think, this is what I want - to feel normal. I don't blame them, I can see why people would think this. They might think - she's finally pregnant and past all the grieving and hard stuff, so this is the time to shower her with excitement and baby talk. But, I'm so not. 

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The Shameless Psych Evaluation of Being Considered "Fit" to Use Donor Egg.

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The Shameless Psych Evaluation of Being Considered "Fit" to Use Donor Egg.

Some Egg Donor agencies require that every "intended parent" (yes that's what we are called, sigh) goes through a psych evaluation prior to moving forward with the process. The questions asked are uncomfortable and boarder line offensive, in my opinion. Can you imagine if all parents had to go through this before trying to conceive? Think about that one. 

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DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

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DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

I used to think that I would feel more like the child's "real mother" if we resembled each other. That a blue eyed baby with light hair would make me feel like a "normal" mom in some way. I thought it would be easier for the child to see me as his/her mother if we looked a like. Being a parent is about Love. Nurture. Support. Comfort. Understanding. Love. Love. And more Love. DNA does not make you a mother. Love does. 

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Egg Donor: Young Doesn't Necessarily Mean Fertile

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Egg Donor: Young Doesn't Necessarily Mean Fertile

When we started down the route of using an egg donor, everyone made it sound like it was a shoe in. I remember our doctor saying our chances of success were around 90%. When you select an egg donor, you are basically saying, okay, lets just get pregnant already.  You don't really consider that it won't work. It's, simple, you choose a young girl with a ton of healthy eggs, and then you get pregnant. It's a no brainer. Well, until you find out your Egg Donor is exactly like you. 

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Donor Egg Recipient: What's My Role?

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Donor Egg Recipient: What's My Role?

We learned that there aren't any clear cut laws around using egg donors. So, even though we have a signed legal agreement, the law doesn't clearly define me as the mother. Sigh. And, the law could change at any time and trump our signed agreement. Double Sigh. Luckily, there are proven court cases to reference, and in most instances the "intended" mother won in all of those cases.  Our attorney told us that since it is my "intent" to mother the child (not Meggan's) I would "likely" be considered the legal mother if she ever tried to take me to court to sue for parental rights. Isn't that f*cking awesome? But, at least, Jonathan is still the baby daddy, regardless. So, we have that. 

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Egg Donation: A Donor's Perspective

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Egg Donation: A Donor's Perspective

I got the pleasure of meeting an egg donor. I was in complete admiration of her. Although, she didn't consider her act of donating eggs admirable at all. But, I couldn't disagree more.  

There are many things in life you get paid to do that take guts, courage and heart. Think about the people that do jobs you consider "admirable". They are getting paid, but they are still doing a job that not many people would do, right?  They are putting their lives at danger, but sure, they still receive a paycheck.(Note - egg donors certainly aren't rolling in the dough. In most cases, the agency actually collects more money than the donor does.) 

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Donor Eggs And The Painful Process Of Choosing A Donor

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Donor Eggs And The Painful Process Of Choosing A Donor

I can't decide which was harder. Making the decision to use donor eggs.  Or selecting the actual egg donor herself. We were still struggling to find the perfect match.  So we decided to consult with our doctor for advice. To put it simply, she told us that when we find "the one" we would feel some sort of a connection.  She even went so far to say, "think about how you felt on your wedding day, this is just as important".  But how the hell are we supposed to do that without meeting the person?

find me on Instagram @expectinganything

“I need this for my sister” she says to me as we were playing outside, referring to a special rock she found. . “Sister?” I asked, just to clarify. She looked me straight in the eyes and said it louder this time... “yes
I’ve spent most of my life saying “I’ll be happy when...”. When I finally get pregnant. When I lose the extra 15 pounds of hormone weight. When our business starts doing well again. When we are able to take fun vacations again
There is so much more to pass on to our children than genetics. . I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. Strong women aren’t just born that way, they are taught by watching the strong women in their lives work hard and stand up
I wasn’t just an oven baking someone else’s cookies. I was her home. . A therapist once told me to use the analogy of baking cookies in an oven when explaining to Flo how she came to be. This just never felt right for me. I was more than

all content copyright - Victoria Nino 2017